There are few things more anxiety-inducing than an upcoming urine test especially if you have a low likelihood of passing.
You’ve probably heard of several solutions — detox kits, home remedies, or maybe even using someone else’s “sample”. The problem is, these methods are far from foolproof. In many cases, they flat out don’t work.
If there’s a lot riding on your test, using synthetic urine can be the safest and most effective way to avoid an unwanted positive. Nevertheless, there are a lot of poor-quality products out there that lab technicians can easily recognize as fakes. Our guide to this year’s best synthetic urine products will help you make an informed choice.
Your future may be on the line, so don’t take any chances!
Keep in mind that the use of synthetic urine or other methods that interfere with drug tests is illegal in several states. If you live in one of the 18 states where faking a test is against the law, use these products at your own risk. The consequences for attempting to beat your test could be more severe than if you simply fail it. Be aware of your local and state laws before deciding how to proceed.
What makes good synthetic urine?
Before we jump into our reviews, it’s important to understand what separates the good quality synthetic urine from the bad quality stuff.
The right ingredients
In simple terms, reliable synthetic urine will have all or most of the substances that your ucontains naturally. Urine is made up of numerous chemical components, all of which give it a unique color, consistency, and smell. At the molecular level, these substances give it even more of a distinct signature.
Nowadays, labs look closely at the structure of urine samples to determine if they’re real or fake. As more and more people look for ways to beat their tests, labs have become increasingly sophisticated in detecting synthetic urine. That makes it harder, but not impossible, to use synthetic urine to pass a test.
If you haven’t guessed it by now, the best synthetic urine brands are formulated to mimic real urine as closely as possible, all the way down to the molecular level.
Some of the chemicals and substances that real urine — and good synthetic urine — must contain include:
- Creatinine, which is produced naturally by your kidneys
- Urea, which is partly responsible for giving your urine its distinctive smell
- Sodium chloride, or salt, which everyone gets in their diet and excretes through urine
In addition, urine’s pH level usually falls in a range of 4.5 to 8. If the level of a sample is any higher or lower, the lab will probably take a closer look at your sample. That’s not good if you’re using synthetic urine.
Finally, good synthetic urine should look and act like the real thing. Real urine has a certain gravity or thickness to it that distinguishes it from other liquids. The genuine stuff also forms foam or bubbles when shaken — if your synthetic urine doesn’t, then you shouldn’t use it for your test!
The right temperature
All real urine samples fall between a certain temperature range. In order for a lab to accept your sample, the temperature must be between 90 and 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Too cold, and they’ll know that the sample isn’t fresh. Too hot, and they’ll know it’s been heated by artificial means.
The best synthetic urine kits include a heating method as well as a thermometer so you can ensure that your sample is at the proper temperature. You may want to practice mixing and heating your sample before you take your test. Getting the right temperature can be tricky, and you won’t want to worry about it at the last minute.
Ultimately, the proper temperature isn’t up to the manufacturer. It’s your responsibility to follow the heating instructions provided in your kit. Failure to do so will certainly result in your sample being rejected!
Why not use real urine?
Using the fake stuff may seem like a hassle — why not just use someone else’s urine for your test?
If you go synthetic, you’ll have more control over the result. Even if you trust the person whose urine you’re using, how can you be certain that their sample isn’t tainted? Even if you can get a guaranteed safe sample, it’s harder to preserve real urine than it is to store the synthetic kind.
By using someone else’s urine to pass your test, you’ll definitely save money. But even the best synthetic urine on the market is relatively affordable. Think of it as an investment — why risk your future over a few dollars? Unless you’re truly in a desperate situation, it’s almost always a better idea to go synthetic.
The Best Synthetic Urine
We’ve checked out several different brands of synthetic urine and filtered out all the ones you should avoid. All of the products below should give you the results you need. Just be sure to follow the instructions!
Serious Monkey Bizzness — Reliable and Affordable
With a name like Serious Monkey Bizzness, you’d be right to wonder how serious the company’s product really is. But don’t let the wacky name and colorful packaging fool you — this synthetic urine can deliver the results you need at a price that won’t break the bank.
The Monkey line of synthetic urine comes in several varieties that cater to a range of budgets. Starting at $15, Monkey Urine is a powder that you’ll need to mix yourself. It doesn’t have any heating elements included, so you’ll have to regulate the mixture’s temperature on your own.
Most people will probably want to opt for the $25 Monkey Flask or $45 Monkey Whizz. The Flask and Whizz are both pre-mixed liquids. Both include heating packs, which you’ll need in order to warm up your sample. Even better, the packs contain helpful and accurate thermometers that make it a breeze to regulate your sample’s temperature. The Whizz is more covert than the Flask and is what we’d recommend from the Monkey brand.
If you’re a male whose test is going to be supervised, then the Monkey Dong may be what you need. It’s a lifelike prosthetic penis that should fool all but the most observant lab technicians. The price tag is a bit heftier at $100. Moreover, it’s a pretty intense piece of hardware that most people won’t need for their test.
The Bottom Line
Serious Monkey Bizzness has a good range of affordable synthetic urine products. Best of all, their synthetic urine is known for reliably beating drug tests — at least more basic ones. The Monkey stuff should help you get through a pre-employment screening without any problems. If you know that you’ll be facing a more serious test, then you’ll want to check out the other products on our list.
Quick Fix — All Around Quality
If you’ve been sniffing around for quality synthetic urine, you’ve probably come across Quick Fix. That’s no surprise — Quick Fix has some of the best synthetic urine out there.
Quick Fix touts their high success rate on passed tests — 99% or more. While the numbers may seem exaggerated, that’s no reason not to trust them. Customers across the web have given Quick Fix’s synthetic urine rave reviews. More importantly, overwhelmed users report their success using Quick Fix to pass their tests.
You can buy a 2-ounce bottle of Quick Fix for $34.95, or a 3-ounce bottle for $39.95. The extra ounce might be worth it — sometimes it’s good to have a bit extra so that you can practice warming your sample. No matter what size bottle you choose, it’ll have a thermometer attached so that you can track your sample’s temperature. Additionally, both bottles come with a heating pad.
The Bottom Line
Quick Fix’s synthetic urine is top-notch in terms of quality and reliability. However, their delivery system could provide challenges for some customers. They do sell a urine belt for $19.99, but it’s essentially just a belt that holds either size bottle. If you need to beat a supervised test but want to use Quick Fix, you’ll have to find another method for delivering your sample.
Clear Choice Sub Solution — The Best You Can Get
Serious Monkey Bizzness and Quick Fix should be enough for most people trying to pass a drug test. If there’s really a lot riding on you passing your test, however, then you might want to bring in the big guns — Clear Choice Sub Solution.
Sub Solution’s synthetic urine is so close to the real thing that it’s almost impossible to detect, even in the most advanced labs. Customers consistently report outstanding results with Sub Solution. In the worst-case scenario, a test may come back as “inconclusive.” While that’s not exactly a positive (and therefore undesirable) result, it’s incredible compared to the many cheap brands of synthetic urine out there.
One of the best things about Sub Solution is Clear Choice’s commitment to upgrading their formula. They’re constantly improving their product and trying to stay one step ahead of the testing technology. Even better, they ensure that you’ll always get the newest formula — there’s no need to worry about an outdated product.
Sub Solution synthetic urine’s main disadvantage is its price. At $80 for a 3-ounce bottle, it’s a lot pricier than the competition. If you purchase extras like Test Negative’s $35.95 Stash Undies, the cost can climb quickly. Then again, $100 or so is a small price to pay to ensure that you’ll get that new job, or keep the one you have.
Bring on the Heat
Sub Solution’s heating system is a bit different from its competitors. Instead of using a heating pad, Sub Solution warms up with help from a chemical agent that you add to the sample immediately before submitting it. It works in seconds, which can be a lifesaver. There’s nothing worse than having a sample that’s too cold right before you need to deliver. Aside from its top-quality formula, this feature really helps Sub Solution stand out from the crowd.
If your test doesn’t seem too serious, or if it’s only a pre-employment screening, then you’ll be safe using synthetic urine from Serious Monkey Bizzness or Quick Fix. Both product lines are reasonably priced. More importantly, they’re reliable products that give good results — as long as they’re used properly.
If you need to pass a more serious test, then you shouldn’t skimp — Sub Solution is the best solution for you. The price may seem steep, but it’ll be worth it when you get that negative test.
No matter what product you settle on, don’t forget to read the instructions. None of these products are guaranteed to work — ultimately, it’s your responsibility to use them as intended!